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 Holy The Abridger?

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Chicken
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My Pet : Creeper
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Join date : 2011-02-23
Location : The Land of Roleplaying and Procrastination

PostSubject: Holy The Abridger?   Thu Aug 11, 2011 6:07 pm

Let's cut to the skinny: I wanna be an abridger. Here's a script, so please tell me what you like, hate, laughed at, thought was dumb, etc.. Anyway, I'm doing this because I want to avoid hate from LK fans since I'll be doing an abridged series of Yu-Gi-Oh. Of course it'll be over-shadowed by LK, but it's all for fun. Anyway, here:

Yugi: Hey, Joey. Are you awake? Hello?! Aw, man! Why does everyone fall asleep when I try to play a boring game of cards with them?

Joey: *Mumbling* Mrr.. No, I don't want to see your kangaroo collection, Tri-

Yugi: WAKE UP BEFORE I CUT OFF YOUR OVER-SIZED MONSTER MULLET!
Joey: *Awake* Gaah! Yugi, why would you ever threaten to get rid of my awesome anime mullet?

Tristan: You think your anime mullet is awesome? Well I think my hair is the superior life form! It's almost sentient!

Yugi: You two stop talking about your sentient hair from the fiery depths of Hell! My grandpa has a useless piece of paper that he bought off of Ebay!

Joey: A useless piece of paper?! I must see this mystical artifact for myself!
Tristan: Me too!
Seto Kaiba: A useless piece of paper? Hm. Seeing another useless piece of paper must be much more exciting then my daily routine of swimming naked in money and coins with two hot chicks. I hope they don't mind if I stalk them.

Yugi: Grandpa! Show us the useless piece of paper you bought off of Ebay with my college fund!

Grandpa: Alright children, take a look at the useless piece of paper Grandpa paid five thousand dollars for!
Joey: I think Yugi will have to work at Taco Bell for the rest of his life to pay that off. Say, can I buy that useless piece of paper? I've always wanted to show off how stupid I am!

Grandpa: Well-

Seto Kaiba: Give me your useless piece of paper, old man! I'll pay anything for it!

Grandpa: One Million Dollars, please.

Seto Kaiba: Screw you. I'm going to go have my own personal military bomb this place. The world loves my Useless Piece of Paper company, so no one will mind if I start a holocaust or two.

Grandpa: Alright kids, time to evacuate to Grandpa's bomb shelter!
Yugi: *on the phone* Hello? This is Grandpa's Useless Pieces of Paper Store, Yugi speaking.

Seto Kaiba: Well it turns out the world isn't cool with Kaibaland starting a nuclear holocaust, so I just kidnapped your Grandpa and gave him a heart attack with virtual reality. You should probably call an ambulance.

Yugi: Maybe later.

*LATER*

Yugi: Grandpa! Are you okay!? ... If not, can I take your money?

Grandpa: The virtual reality molested my mind! Uber Leet Haxorz! One Three Three Seven!

Seto Kaiba: I'm going to perform a magic trick now!

Yugi: Nooo! The useless piece of paper! Now I'll have to work at Taco Bell for the rest of my life!

Joey: Why did you do that?

Seto Kaiba: .... MAGIC!

Yugi: Your magic tricks suck!

Seto Kaiba: Can we just duel already? I'm scheduled to go bathe in liquid gold with five naked super models in a few hours.

Yugi: ... Anyway.. Grandpa, don't worry! I'll win this duel by using your stolen useless pieces of paper! ... Also, I kind of took your money.

Grandpa: Noob! Lol you suck at this game, rofl!

Yugi: Bye bye!

Grandpa: LOL! I are teh pwnzor!

Teá: Put your hands together everyone! I'll draw a permanent smiley face on all of you! So we'll be happy! Forever!

Joey: ... Forever?

Teá: SHUT UP BEFORE I RIP OFF YOUR ARMS!

Joey: Don't hurt my mullet!

Yami Yugi: Alright, fine, whatever. Duel time! ... Whoever you are.

Seto Kaiba: Uh.. What just happened? Did you just become an ancient egyptian dude with no life who loves useless pieces of paper by using some shiny gold object? Nah, it's just my imagination.

Yami Yugi: Oh my god, is that a clown?

Seto Kaiba: Yes, it's a clown.

Yami Yugi: A CLOWN!? You fiendish fiend! I shall end your evil reign of tyranny!
Seto Kaiba: Really? Try saying that to my three Blue Eyes White Dragons, Yugi!
Yami Yugi: ... Cheater.

Seto Kaiba: What?

Yami Yugi: You're cheating. You can't summon three monsters at once.

Seto Kaiba: It's not considered cheating when this anime makes no sense!
Yami Yugi: Good point.

Seto Kaiba: So, ready to surrender?

Yami Yugi: Of course not! Because with the powers of the protagonist, I summon Exodia!

Seto Kaiba: The powers of the Protagonist!? Oh shit..

Yami Yugi: Exodia, destroy those dragons with the power of protagonist!

Mokuba: Wow bro, you really suck at this game.

Seto Kaiba: Shut up!
Yami Yugi: Glowy Hand Explodey Time!

Seto Kaiba: OH MY GOD I'M HAVING A SEIZUUUUUUUURE!

Grandpa: Remind me to kill Yugi later.

Guy: Pegasus sir, it seems Seto Kaiba was totally owned in a duel. Wow, he sucks at this game.

Pegasus: *DERP*

That's the end of the script, but I decided that I'd give these characters all their own consistent personalities. Here's what I have planned, tell me what you think:

Yugi is a manipulative jackass who uses his adorable-ness to get what he wants.

Joey is an idiot who loves useless pieces of paper and trying to beat up people.

Tristian believes his hair is sentient and is slightly delusional, but also up-beat.

Teá is obsessed with friendship and making everyone happy.

Yami Yugi is a narcissitic jerk who only cares about winning, also with the powers of the protagonist.

Seto Kaiba is a rich idiot who owns the world's largest useless piece of paper company and proud owner of the country Kaibaland.

Mokuba Kaiba is Seto's younger brother. He's a jerk and criticises his brother, mainly saying he sucks at dueling and stuff. People frequently kidnap him just to make him shut up.

Pegasus is brain-damaged and decided to rule the world with the power of his eye-bling-bling.

Grandpa is an old guy who's mildly senile, thinking he has a bomb shelter. He likes little girls.
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